did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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