dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
