I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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