It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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