No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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