well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize