i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
