Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She made me pour olive oil on her.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
