Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize