Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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