Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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