i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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