I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
