Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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