JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
