I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
