I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize