the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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