U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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