Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
