To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
