so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
