just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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