You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
