I didn't shave. On purpose
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
