wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
