She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
