yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you had me at cake vodka
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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