so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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