if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
