Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
