you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize