Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Dick very happy bro
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
