i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
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These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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