shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
why is half of my head shaved?
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