is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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