is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
