I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just want nice things and good sex
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
