Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize