it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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