part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
