help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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