So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
