if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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