hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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