Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
