We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
