Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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