Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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