I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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