I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
