My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
