What did we do last night that was yellow?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
