hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
