the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
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