Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We got so high we made milksteak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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