rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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