i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
